You can live "real" in one part of your life - home life, work life, friend life, and yet still live "blind" in another.
I had been doing just that. Blind. Blind. Blind.
Honestly, as I hover here on the reality side of my sheltered-blindness, and I find that I miss blindness terribly, I know that God rolled up the blinds in the front room of my heart to show me the "kids" playing with mines in my "real" front yard. As I look out I see people who are so blindly unaware of what they are messing with - how much damage it is about to cause their family, their friends, their children, their home... the mines of adultery, lust, and lies.
My hand wanted to seize the blind and pull it back down, sprint out the back door to the safe "sheltered-blindness" and say to my Father, "I DIDN'T KNOW! I didn't know..."
Instead, when I spun around with tears streaming down my eyes, disgust, rage, and frustration filling my broken heart I knew why my Papa had revealed the reality of the world around me. Yes, he knew I was ready and wanted to shine light on my own weaknesses, so that I might begin to pray for strength in order to bravely step out when called into my front yard to pray for those playing with destruction.
So I stood there, dumbfounded, staring at my Father and not knowing what to pray. He gently holds my heart and whispers, "The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searched our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God" (Romans 8:26-27). You see, he has given me (and you) a big brother, Jesus, and surrounded me (and you!) with a friend - the Holy Spirit.
Oh! My heart began to cry out, "That is why so many of you are sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep! But if we were more discerning with regard to ourselves, we would not come under such judgement." (1 Cor. 11:30-31)
They were there, comatose to what catastrophe they were about to create. As I looked on I noticed some of these "kids" were seconds away from setting off the explosives - marriages dismantled, children crying because daddy or mommy abandoned them, wedding bands and vows lay on the wayside covered in muck; I stand here seeing it all unable to pull my eyes off the calamity and heartache.
Thus, I pull out my beloved story book to remind me what a marriage is... what the truth is... what toys we should really play with, and how to begin replacing those mines. Again, Papa reminds me, sweet child, here are the "toys" I raised you with, toys that bring wholeness and rightness, toys that shine light and bring growth - not destruction and distress.
"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh" Genesis 2:24
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value." (Proverbs 31:10-11)
"The Lord is my strength and my defense, he has become my salvation" Exodus 15:2
"I love you, LORD, my strength." Psalm 18:1
"The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusts in him and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him." Psalm 28:7
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever." Psalm 73:26
"Therefore strengthen my feeble heart and weakness." Hebrews 12:12
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." Mathew 26:41
"Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourself to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control." 1 Cor. 7:5
"No temptation has over taken you, except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful! He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." 1 Cor 10:13
"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds, tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads." (Deut. 11:18)
"I have hidden your word in my heart so I may not sin against you." (Psalm 119:11)
Toys - truths.
Mixed in style and character.
A variety - full abundance.
All of them given by a loving father who says, "You don't have to play with mines - destruction, no. Hold on to the truth, the light, what I've given you. Share that with your friends, family, and co-workers - share this love, this joy, this hope."
Now I can look out the window and pray, eventually when I'm strong enough - step out into the yard of reality and share my "toys of truth".
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